i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
