You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
