i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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