Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
