Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
