i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
...so i touched it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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