god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
