if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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