the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize