Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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