My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
