She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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