That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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