I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
