No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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