I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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