Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
