you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
