Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize