hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Never joke about your clitoris.
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