By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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