It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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