i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
