Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
