just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
