did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
should my penis look like a turkey
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
