I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
