I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
