He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize