I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
