I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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