His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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