I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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