Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
