girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
