I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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