it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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