so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
