Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
