yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
