College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this is an emotional support booty call
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