uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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