I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
