A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
