are you still at the devil's house?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
