His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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