who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
