Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
