i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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