I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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