Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
