Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You don't make any sense
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