The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
