I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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