some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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