Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you win again, gameday.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
